Among the tedium of packing we have carved out time for ourselves and to say goodbye. We had a lovely farewell party at our friends’ house. Several of our friends made delicious cakes, including this aptly decorated one pictured below. I was so glad to have the opportunity to talk to everyone before leaving. We left the party early at 10pm to return packing, and so as we were leaving, all of our friends were still there having fun. As we walked to our car I looked back at everyone at the party. They were talking and laughing, silhouetted on the patio by the bright flood lights on the side of the house. It was at that moment when I was standing separate from the group and looking back that I realized that an era of our lives was ending and the move started to feel real. Our friends would be dispersed to their respective countries by the time we returned, starting with us. A wave of the gravity of the decision hit me as the fence swung shut behind us, and I hugged Carlos under the stars outside the party, sad for the first time about what we were leaving behind.
The next day, I said goodbye to my lab, which was equally as sad, although I expect to still talk to them frequently. There are so many things I didn’t consider when I made the decision, like all the ties that will be loosened as a result of the distance. Sometimes I jump forward like a speedboat, oblivious to the wake until I’m several miles out. My lab members waited with me on the train platform and I realized how much I would miss working with them daily. It’s not often that you find people in the world who have exactly the same interests and that you can be your nerdiest around! I was so caught up in new things starting that I hadn’t considered the existing things that would need to end.
We’ve spent the last few days traveling all over the state saying goodbye to college friends, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and everyone else. If half the people who claim they’ll visit us in Chile actually come we will have house guests every month!
I was finally able to visit Jon Luke’s grave and pay my respects in Syracuse. Jon Luke was one of my good college friends. Last year, at the age of 25, he learned that he had terminal cancer. Within 3 months he had passed away. Three months wasn’t enough time to say goodbye and I wasn’t able to attend the funeral. For a year now I had craved the closure that my visit to the cemetery provided.
Saying goodbye to my sisters was the hardest part. The three of us sat in a pile on the couch, cuddling to ward off the impending distance. Carlos got his first view of the multiplicative power of our emotions. There’s something about our life paths diverging and our experiences spreading us further apart that feels ineffably sad. The three of us share a strong nostalgic side, and new distance means our collective memory will continue to fragment.
We are almost 48 hours from our flight, we check into our flight online tonight in 40 minutes. It’s nice to be leaving in a flurry of affection and goodbyes.
Pelo de choclo 